Pearls-in-the-making?

If you've read my previous post you might be surprised by another one of the kind.
I've been very weepy lately. Whiny, complainy(inside and out, loudly the last one), unhappy, worn out about quite a few issues in my life. Having my limbs in working order didn't seem to bless me long enough. I feel like I don't have enough arms and legs to do all that is expected of me to do (or that I feel I have to do). Now, I cannot take anymore the excuse of my husband being out of the country for the majority of the time. But I have been accepting it a little bit too much lately. I repent. It does make a difference. But still, I shouldn't grumble.
I have been feeling like a dirty sock pulled inside out and dropped right where it was taken off (multiply that by 4, please, twice a day) I was rebuked, convicted and touched by the timely sermon our pastor delivered just yesterday. But today, the problem resurfaced again. Dumb Israelites, I thought yesterday. They complained about everything. They had to have a miracle daily to keep their faith up and their complaining down. All they had to do is quit complaining. They wouldn't have had to wonder 40 years in a circle. They were stopping themselves from entering the Promised Land. Duh!
But, yet, here I was again, back to the same battle, just like the Israelites. The pastor stated that when we complain we are stopping from going forward. I thought: what a revelation! I want to go forward. I want to have instead of lack. I want to move and not be stagnant. But, yet, here I am again, same exact spot, with the same problem. Well, I wonder why? Because I didn't stop complaining. As soon as the going got tough today (ok, it was 3 gr Math and English, that was all and a few fights over why someone did someone else's chore, nothing really major, but it doesn't take major when one is down, does it?) and school stretched into late afternoon the complaining about certain issues was back again. Living in close proximity with 4 kids all the time can be very character building, you know? Well, my character wasn't going anywhere lately.

But God is staying close to me though I feel like I am so far away from Him when I complain. He put friends in my path when I needed them most. I was reminded in ems, phone calls, ezines, newsletters to keep on trucking no matter how hard it gets. I am so very thankful!

The last one that broke a dam and let a flood of tears of repentance and relief (hope it's not temporary) was Mary Carother's short article in the Prison to praise newsletter that was sitting unopened for a few days ( I told you I stay busy to even open the mail some days) . Now, I am sure many of you have heard of the process of the creation of a pearl. I am sure I did in the past. But it really struck me today like a ton of bricks. Lord, am I that rough on the edges that you have to send me so many grains of sand to irritate me to form me into a beautiful pearl (out of an ugly oyster?) And do I have so many friends because they need me too? I believe God's creation is a wonderful mirror. We can see ourselves in it so well if we just try. I just had to google the birth of a pearl and was awed! I really got it this time. One word used there was stimulate. The irritant inserted in the shells stimulates the growth of the layers that ultimately results in a pearl. If I didn't have the irritants (which, who of us don't?) then I would't be stimulated to become polished and round and perfect. I'd just sit there, no progress. Hmm, Ok, I get it this time. It makes sense.
Mary compares this process quite plainly: God allows us to have someone in our lives who causes us stress and irritation. He has a purpose in doing this. He desires that we begin to cover that person with love and grace, just as Jesus has done for us. His goal is to encourage us to grow more like Jesus. As we cover this person with god's love and extend grace to them, again and again, it is possible with the Holy Spirit's help that they, or WE , just may become a beautiful pearl in the hand of the Lord.
I have to confess that I haven't been covering the people in my life (mainly the kids whom I am with 24X7) with love and grace and have been complaining way too much about their faults. When I did try to cover them, it wasn't wholeheartedly. When they rejected it on my first try, I quit trying. But I see now that I wasn't willing to be "irritated" in order to reap the benefits of the ultimate beauty.
So, now that the message is clear to me, I plan on getting my crafty girls (who doodle all the time anyway, might as well put the doodling and the bazillions of paper (another irritant) to good use) to make a big sign tomorrow with the word PEARLS and tape them in each room. I'll make sure they use as much of those pearly marker, pencils, whatever (that will make them go find them all, LOL) to make beautiful pearly PEARL words. I pray we are reminded of the process daily. I hope one of my trial children (who has been anxious to replace her earrings from the recent piercing with some faux pearls I got for her) will be reminded of this creation lesson every time she looks in the mirror. May you be reminded daily of His Love and grace with the people who might rub you the wrong way in your life. And if you think you are a done polished, perfect pearl, please, come visit me and my pearls-in-the-making! You might change your mind. :)